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Sumber gambar: Tempo.co

Peduli Papua? Bersiap-siaplah Menjadi Snob

SAYA bersentuhan lebih erat dengan Papua tepatnya dua tahun yang lalu, setelah menjadi editor dan jurnalis yang mewajibkan saya harus menetap di Papua. Sebelumnya, saya bisa mengendus apa pun menyoal Papua, hanya ketika angin timur sedang bertiup ke barat.

Sudah hampir setahun saya menetap di Jayapura. Sepanjang itu, saya mulai merasakan ada yang berubah dalam diri saya. Perasaan itu kerap hinggap, ketika ada yang membahas Papua di media sosial, lalu saya membaca satu per satu komentar.

Beberapa komentar sejalan pikir, tapi tak sedikit pula yang saling memunggungi. Mereka yang tak sejalan itu, saya nilai sebagai orang yang ingin menang sendiri. Mereka merasa paling tahu soal Papua. Anehnya, penilaian yang kedua, pun saya tujukan kepada mereka yang sejalan.

Pernah seorang kawan sepayung kerja bertanya, “Kris, semenjak tinggal di Papua, apakah kau merasa berbeda dengan dirimu yang sebelumnya?”

Pertanyaan kawan saya itu, membuat saya harus menjawabnya setelah menit menyentuh angka belasan. Saya masih berpikir, coba membanding-bandingkan, dan akhirnya memutuskan menjawab, “Iya, benar. Saya berubah.

Saya seperti bukan diri saya yang sebelumnya. Saya semakin aktif di media sosial, dan terus menerus membicarakan Papua. Setelah tinggal di sini, saya semakin banyak menelan informasi dan bisa menyaksikan apa yang sebenarnya terjadi di Papua.”

Sebenarnya, saya baru menginjak dua daerah selama di Papua. Jayapura dan Timika. Tapi, bahkan baru dua kota ini saja, sudah membuat saya berubah total. Ketika orang-orang di luar sana membicarakan Papua, saya merasa, hanya sayalah yang berhak tahu.

Karena saya berada di sini. Belakangan saya sadar, saya sedang berproses menjadi seorang snob. Barangkali, proses inilah yang hendak ditangkap kawan saya itu, melalui pertanyaannya.

Tapi apakah saya berhak menyalahkan tingkah saya itu? Tidak. Sebab saya merasa, ketika kita teramat peduli dengan sesuatu, maka bersiaplah untuk menjadi sesuatu itu.

Karena itu, ketika orang lain membicarakan Papua, saya pikir mereka sedang membicarakan diri saya. Saya merasa mereka sedang membelai, atau malah menguliti saya hidup-hidup.

Sampai akhirnya, pada suatu malam, saya coba merenung, sudah sejauh mana pemaknaan saya tentang Papua. Tentang tokoh-tokoh Papua yang terbunuh, para penyintas, gaung Free West Papua, ekspansi perkebunan sawit di Merauke, gizi buruk di Asmat.

Kasus-kasus berdarah merajah sejumlah daerah, demonstrasi menuntut referendum, kekerasan aparat, divestasi saham Freeport, tragedi di Nduga, sampai hal remeh-temeh: kenapa saya membenci orang Jawa di kamar kos sebelah, yang setiap pagi menyetel dangdut koplonya Via Vallen?

Dan, dalam perenungan itu, yang saya temukan hanyalah diri saya sendiri. Saya yang diliputi kebencian membabi-buta.

Yang membuat saya tercenung, ketika saya pernah menghakimi orang lain. Mereka yang sebenarnya tidak memahami Papua, atau yang memahami, akan tetapi cinta mereka kepada tanah air Indonesia sudah terlalu dalam.

Saya tidak berhak merebut itu. Saya hanya bisa memberi gambaran, agar setitik nurani dalam diri mereka bergetar. Itu sudah lebih dari cukup.

Saya ingat pernah memaksa dengan pertanyaan: kenapa orang-orang itu tidak peduli dengan Papua? Sungguh, hal seperti itulah yang akhirnya merusak makna dari kepedulian itu sendiri. Kita berbicara tentang kemanusiaan, sembari melucutinya satu demi satu.

Bukankah orang-orang itu berhak tak peduli? Bagaimana jika satu-satunya yang mereka pedulikan hanyalah diri mereka sendiri? Apakah kita berhak membuat sedih orang lain dengan tudingan, sebab mereka tak seisi kepala dengan kita?

Kemudian saya bertanya lagi kepada diri saya: bagaimana dengan mereka yang tak hanya berkomentar, tapi bertindak? Sebuah pendapat, ketika ia berubah menjadi kebencian, lantas menjelma tindakan, maka dengan sendirinya orang itu telah membuang jauh-jauh akal budinya.

Dan di sanalah posisi kita tak lagi menuding. Tapi menyaksikan jelmaan kebencian.

Sekarang, ketika saya menghadap ke sebuah cermin, saya menemukan bayangan tanah air tempat saya dilahirkan. Indonesia. Kemudian saya menemukan bayangan wajah saya di sana.

Masih penuh amarah. Saya membasuh wajah saya dengan penyesalan berkali-kali, kemudian becermin kembali. Coba memastikan apakah saya masih seorang snob, atau sudah beranjak darinya. Lalu saya menemukan sebuah puisi dari Amato Asaggaf.

Di Nduga, hari itu, Sigi berduka bersama Papua. “Sekali waktu aku pernah punya sebuah Indonesia,” katanya. Tapi, hari itu, dia hanya punya mata.

Sigi adalah putri saya satu-satunya. Sekarang ia jauh di belalai Sulawesi, sedang berseragam merah putih. Saya tak boleh merebut kedua warna itu darinya. Biarkan dia menemukan sendiri jejak-jejak saya, bersama apa yang pernah saya saksikan, dan apa yang terakhir kali saya lihat dalam diri saya.

Kristianto Galuwo

Kristianto Galuwo

Wartawan yang kini bekerja di Papua

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Kristianto Galuwo

Kristianto Galuwo

Wartawan yang kini bekerja di Papua

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