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Budaya Lebaran Kekinian yang Menindas

Akhirnya sampai pada titik yang cukup menggembirakan, beberapa hari yang akan datang sedikit problem akan terselesaikan, sedih bercampur bahagia ramadhan akan segera usai. Setelah itu terbitlah Idul Fitri atau familiar disebut lebaran, hari di mana kita bermaaf-maafan dan pamer baju baru. Lebaran sendiri, secara mainstream akan dimaknai sebagai judgement day. Entah dari sejak kapan, hari lahiriah dengan trademark maaf-maafan, dijadikan ajang pembantaian. Bukan soal kekerasan fisik, namun lebih ke verbal. Di mana akan muncul pertanyaan-pertanyaan menohok.

Pertanyaan klasik selanjutnya, seputar sekolah dan kuliah. Ketika yang lulus SMP, SMA, akan kena damprat pertanyaan begini, sekolah di mana nanti ? Kuliah di mana nanti ? Bahkan sampai membandingkan dengan yang lainnya. Sekolah di SMA Internasional Barokah kayak si Fulan saja, kuliah di Ghana kayak si Bahlul, masak tidak bisa. Mengunggulkan yang lebih bonafit, sampai membuat tekanan mental bagi si individu. Terkadang malah harus rela melepaskan cita-citanya, karena intervensi simple yang menohok.

Pasca itu, kita semua juga dihakimi dengan sinisme level dewa. Kapan lulus ? Mau kemana dan ngapain ? Kapan nikah ? Sama siapa ? Dari keluarga mana ? Terlalu kepo dan deterministik ke kehidupan pribadi. Itulah realitas kala lebaran tiba, pertanyaan tadi merupakan pertanyaan khas unik nan mainstream ala keluarga Indonesia. Anehnya, sampai ranah pribadi diurusin, dibully, dihina dan tak jarang yang frustrasi. Namun ada juga yang sekedar gurauan dan motivasional. Memang unik, sekaligus mengaburkan esensi hari lahiriah, alias kembali ke fitrah. Terjebak dalam perilaku ghuluw menuju riya’, seperti parade pamer pencapaian.

Berbeda dengan mereka yang berasal dari keluarga ekonomi menengah, lebaran dimaknai sebagai ajang berkumpulnya keluarga. Sekaligus menghakimi sanak saudara, entah ini budaya lama atau mungkin secara alamiah sudah melekat. Pertanyaan seputar ekonomi jelas tidak bisa dilepaskan. Semisal nanti mau kerja di mana ? Kerjaanmu sekarang di mana ? Gajinya berapa ? Kok disitu, kayak si Z dong hebat!!! Selalu membanding-bandingkan antar individu, siapa yang lebih unggul.

Pertanyaan mendasar, apakah budaya penghakiman sepihak ini bersifat universal atau terbatas pada kelompok ekonomi menengah saja. Pasalnya memang di kelompok ekonomi lemah, pertanyaan seputar lebaran hanya mencakup wilayah ekonomi saja. Semisal mereka yang merantau, pasti akan mengajak keluarganya yang dirasa prospek. Mungkin juga curhat resolusi ke depan mau ngapain, lebih ke soal ekonomi dan mungkin saya bisa salah.

Tentunya tidak semua seperti itu, hanya saja beberapa melakukan budaya tersebut, menjadi sebuah tradisi wajib yang tak afdhol jika dilewatkan. Tradisi tersebut sebenarnya merupakan pertarungan antar keluarga, cukup bertendensi pada ambisi eksistensi pihak-pihak yang ingin dipandang dominan. Rata-rata memang dari kelas ekonomi menengah yang memelihara budaya demikian. Sebagai bukti, bagaimana hegemoni budaya kekinian cukup mengintervensi, karena budaya kita masih bercorak khas feodal ala-ala pencapaian Orde Baru yang kaku. Masih ingat tolok ukur kesuksesan ala budaya Orde Baru. Selalu saja hal-hal berbau sukses dikaitkan dengan kerja sebagai PNS, Dokter, Militer dan Karyawan di perusahaan BUMN. Bahkan dari cita-cita sedari kecil usia bisa ditebak, sampai pertanyaan lebaran pun bisa ditebak, arah pembicaraannya ke mana.

Seperti pada tulisan Yudhistira dalam artikel “Anak-anak orde baru dan Indonesia sekarang”. Wujud budaya Orde baru dapat dilihat dari cita-cita, sebagai pengejahwantahan ideologisasi pembangunan. Anak-anak Orde baru secara tidak langsung menggambarkan tujuan pemerintah, dari cita-citanya bahkan arah tujuannya.

“Pembangunan adalah mantra bagi Orde Baru, sehingga semua kegiatan mesti disesuaikan dengan mantra tersebut. Itulah sebabnya, cita-cita anak-anak Indonesia pada masa Orde Baru terbatas hanya pada tiga profesi tersebut. Pertama, menjadi tentara, terutama Angkatan Darat (AD), karena merekalah yang berhasil menyelamatkan negara ini dari pengaruh komunisme dan menjaga stabilitas keamanan, sehingga negara bisa membangun dan meraih kenikmatan ekonomi. Kedua, menjadi insinyur supaya bisa meneruskan dan meningkatkan pembangunan yang telah dicanangkan pemerintah. Ketiga, menjadi dokter agar masyarakat Indonesia senantiasa sehat sehingga pembangunan tidak terhambat (Yudhistira, 2013, artikel anak-anak orba dan indonesia sekarang, paragraf ke 9).

Bahkan menurut Karl Mannheim, posisi sosial merupakan proses sejarah yang dapat membuat masyarakat mempunyai cara pandang, dan implementasi dalam tindakan yang khas, sehingga membentuk budaya yang khas (dalam Dhakidae, 1980: 6, dalam Yudhistira 2013). Sudah cukup menjawab sedikit terkait persoalan, mengapa budaya tersebut tetap langgeng dan terus mengintimidasi pemuda-pemuda kala lebaran tiba.

Keinginan untuk dipandang dan dilihat sukses, menjadikan budaya lebaran yang sakral berubah menjadi ajang pamer, perusak mental dan demotivasi. Selain faktor budaya, juga dikarenakan adanya distribusi kesejahteraan tidak merata, tidak adil dan ketimpangan terlihat mencolok. Sehingga secara laten turut mempengaruhi budaya-budaya khas lebaran, sebagai ajang untuk melangenggkan budaya otoriter, di mana kita secara tidak langsung ditekan untuk menjadi seperti kehendak keluarga.

Padahal ramadhan seharunya menjadikan kita sebagai manusia yang fitrah, belajar menahan hawa nafsu dan menjadi lebih baik. Namun tidak semua menjadi seperti harapan, masih banyak hal-hal penting yang masih “cacat.” Budaya boros, berlebih-lebihan, bahkan bukan dalam tataran konsumsi saja, tapi gaya hidup hingga budaya sinis kala lebaran hadir. Idul fitri yang seharusnya menjadi momentum untuk ajang rekonsiliasi, malah memunculkan sakit hati, stress bahkan dalam kadar tertentu memicu depresi. Budaya lebaran yang menindas ini merupakan distorsi, yang mendestruktif kehidupan seseorang individu. Bahkan sampai bisa meruntuhkan motivasi hidup seseorang, tak jarang banyak yang tidak bahagia dengan kehidupannya, hanya berawak dari intimidasi-intimidasi keluarga yang masih bercorak otoritatif, khas Orde Baru yang menindas.

Lebaran juga dapat dijadikan indikator sosial ekonomi, bagaimana masih banyaknya ketimpangan sosial diantara kita. Hemat saya, sehingga percuma belajar internalisasi diri melalui puasa. Karena itu tidak berarti, karena puasa hanya dimaknai sebagai kewajiban, namun tak sampai melihat esensi dibalik perintah untuk berpuasa. Padahal puasa ramadhan ini seharusnya menjadikan manusia yang lebih fitrah dan senantiasa berbenah diri. Tetapi kenyataannya tidak demikian, semua runtuh dalam sekejap kala lebaran tiba.

 

Wahyu Eka Setyawan

Nahdliyin muda, Alumni Psikologi UNAIR, selalu mengklaim diri sebagai GUSDURian Chapter Surabaya

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Tentang Penulis

Wahyu Eka Setyawan

Nahdliyin muda, Alumni Psikologi UNAIR, selalu mengklaim diri sebagai GUSDURian Chapter Surabaya

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